


Move on Over

by compo67



Series: Chicago Verse [107]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Banter, Dialogue-Only, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Established Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Established Relationship, Growing Old Together, M/M, Old Age, Old Married Couple, Post-Series, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-09-23 12:35:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9657743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/compo67/pseuds/compo67
Summary: Sam thinks he can wash his hair without interruption. Enter Dean.





	

"Sam."

"Dean."

"Why are people such assholes?"

"...I'm in the shower, Dean."

"So? You can't answer a question while washing that smelly goop out of your hair?"

"Not all of us are from the Old Spice crowd. Are you sitting on the toilet?"

"Well, I need somewhere to sit."

"So you're going to stay a while."

"I just wanna know--why are people such assholes?"

"You are going to stay a while. Okay. What brought this on? Who pissed in your Cheerios?"

"I don't eat Cheerios. They're gross. We're a Fruit Loops family, you know that."

"It's like I'm talking but you only hear every other word."

"Hey, what did the hot dog say at the end of the race?"

"Why is a hot dog in a race?"

"No, no. Way to kill my joke."

"Sigh. Okay. What did the hot dog say at the end of the race?"

"I'm the weiner!"

"..."

"Ah, classic. I'm a true afficionado of jokes."

"Whatever you say, Dean." 

"But really, why people got to be such assholes? I just don't get it. You can polish your gun or shoot it. Why sit there polishing the damn thing when you could be out there shooting monsters?"

"I find your comparisons a little disturbing."

"It's like if someone came over and I made them dinner, right? And I made them dinner for a whole year, but one night, one god damn night, they come over and say, 'You know, someone does this better than you.'" 

"Did someone come over for dinner while I've been in here?"

"Look--who stopped teaching their kids if you can't say nothing nice, don't say anything the fuck at all."

"I doubt parents said it like that, but yeah, I suppose that is missing in our current cultural climate."

"You're damn right it is. You know, the other day I heard a parent ask their kid what they wanted to eat. Could you imagine dad asking us what we wanted to eat?"

"Hmm. Nope. Well. Kind of. Sometimes he asked, 'Which diner you boys wanna eat that? That one. Or that one.'" 

"That was... a freakishly good imitation of him."

"Thanks."

"Don't do it again. Gave me the chills."

"You know what gives me the chills? You sitting there while I'm taking a shower."

"Oh please, like there's any surprise to me what's behind curtain number one."

"And you're the one asking me why people are such assholes?"

"Which you still haven't answered, Mr. College Professor."

"People are assholes because of a failure to connect or communicate. Sometimes they're insecure and lash out. Sometimes they're just bored. But most of the time, I find, it's because they just don't communicate well with the person they're being an asshole to."

"No, no. You're defining it like a verb. I'm saying it like a noun."

"That makes no sense. It's an adjective, Dean."

"No--people are assholes."

"I... okay. Yes. Yes they are. What do you want for dinner."

"They're making heart shaped pizzas at Giordano's this weekend."

"You put yourself into that pizza coma, I'm not getting you out of it."

"They have cheese inside the crust now, Sam. Inside. The. Crust."

"Every time we order from there, you get heartburn and spend the rest of the night begging me to stick a fire extinguisher down your throat."

"And you haven't done it once. See? Asshole."

"Dean."

"What?"

"There's one asshole you're never going to see again if you don't leave me alone to wash my hair."

"Oh no, that's not possible."

"How so?"

"Because for every asshole, there's a dick. Move over, I'm stepping in."

**Author's Note:**

> well, it's definitely been an interesting night. at least i was inspired to write this. i miss these two. i feel like i never get to stay with them for long. i have a valentine's day j2 fic in the works that i hope to post monday, so look out for that. :) 
> 
> remember that i have a tumblr: compo67.tumblr.com and it has more information on there, as well as snips of poetry and art from fandom. thanks for being here, y'all.


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